Cycletaurs

I remember writing last year (no, wait, it was the one before that! How long have I been here now??) that Bert & I were on our bikes so much we were slowly finding mystical union with them.

Well! That ain't nothing compared to this summer. Because this summer I have a new bike!

Check it oooooouuuutt!

Isn't it gorgeous? It's got 27 gears, hydraulic brakes, unkaputtbare Reifen ("indestructible tires" -- we don't say that, do we? "Flat-resistant tires"? Help me out, here), a top shifting system, adjustable everything, and suspension under the seat and handlebars. The powerful headlight and taillights come on automatically when it gets dark enough. Even the bell is the perfect silvery sound to announce the approach of this noblest of Zweirädern. Ding, ding! Magnificent bike coming, hark! And admire ye!

My last bikes (yes, plural) were all more or less experiments, hand-me-downs from friends which fit me just enough to keep my knees from making contact with my jaw as I pedaled. Which was good, because any tiny unevenness in the pavement would already make my teeth chatter together as I fumbled with the temperamental gears in an attempt to keep up with Bert's cruiseworthy Diamant. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful to have them; but we were definitely Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang -- without the wings and sentience -- following an Audi Roadster.

When the chain finally leapt in desperation from the last such contraption, Bert took my hand and marched me into a huge cycling shop in Oggersheim. Light glinted off row upon row of sleek thoroughbreds, turning their wheels seductively toward me and purring their tinkling bells, beckoning me to sit on the bouncy new seats. "But I can't afford any of these jewels!" I protested, already clambering onto one to see what I'd be missing. Bounce, bounce. I squeezed the ergonomic handles. Ooo. "And I can't afford to allow you any more excuses not to take longer excursions with me," said Bert. He waved over a salesperson.

Well! After much experimentation, we are now two Audis cruising down the road. The right equipment just makes all the difference. What before had been rattling and laborious is now smooth and effortless, like flying; and I can focus so much more on the scenery and the wind than on keeping my chain in place. Even pedaling over very rough, tree-rooty forest paths is like something out of a 4x4 commercial.

So far, we average about 40-60 kilometers per ride in anticipation of taking a biking vacation for Bert's birthday in October. Bike paths in Germany are just the best. It's a very outdoorsy country, and the specially-designated, traffic-free bike paths that ribbon all throughout the countryside are well mapped and maintained, with cute little green signs indicating direction and distance at every intersection. We've already got our journey entered into the GPS -- 300 kilometers along rivers between Bavaria and Baden Württemberg, with many a camping spot and brewery along the way, finally ending four or five days later at a vineyard where Bert's family will come join us for the birthday weekend itself.

Doesn't that just sound awesome??

Time to start molding butts onto bike seats!