I love watching Bert handle conflict!
How is he so good at it?? I wish I were that brave and relaxed. I've watched him again and again, and still can't identify exactly how he manages to so seamlessly blend strong language with courtesy. He always listens to and acknowledges the other, yet he also always has the final say. What's especially marvelous is how artlessly this is achieved, too. He doesn't try to awe, or bully, or ingratiate, or use empty but impressive-sounding words. He's simply himself.
Maybe that's the whole secret: the man's natural confidence seems to be the consequence of a complete lack of self-consciousness. Even if he does something that would leave most people feeling sheepish -- say, arguing strongly in favor of a shortcut that proves to be a mistake -- he laughs at himself and apologizes and then just looks for other options. This is confidence. Not that swaggering, I-have-something-to-prove arrogance which insecure young men mistake for the appearance of self-assuredness; his is the sincere, almost innocent kind that we must have all had before we learned to be embarrassed. He sees and acknowledges his mistakes, but it doesn't occur to him to feel ashamed at being human.
I'm sure this must be where he derives that indefinable leadership quality. He never tries to take control of a group; but because he just always is in control of his surroundings, people -- I've seen this time and again -- inevitably end up rotating around him, looking to him for decisions.
This must be what people mean when they say women like confident men. They don't mean a pretentious asshole. Nor do they mean James Bond, who is a fun cartoon figure, but as a real man, would be a repellingly self-interested playboy who uses women like facial tissues. What is, in fact, hopelessly sexy is a man whose natural self-reliance comes from innate competence and the security to be himself.
Whatever it is -- whenever I get the opportunity to observe that boy thoroughly distributing some justice, it makes me want to drag him into the first secluded corner I can find!
2 comments:
That's rare indeed! So few people I've met are that confident and humble, at the same time.
As the Aussies say, "Good on ya, Bert!"
It speaks of the man's heart... and soul. He obviously hasn't developed any of Herzberg's motivational hygene processes that require an "ass-hole" demeanor to get results. Just as striking, is your ability to appreciate him as fully as you do. Good on both of you!! =o)
Love you... Both!
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