Late 2008

Wow, these last few weeks have been so busy that finding the time to blog has become quite a luxury!

In fact, this whole year's been a bit... full. All of it necessary and exciting; but at some point you start to feel a little frayed around the edges and would welcome the chance to get bored. It's kind of like running on a barrel: we've stayed more or less on top, but if we were ever to stop running, we'd get squished.

Let's see.

- In January, I got back from the States and struggled to settle body and emotions back in Germany while simultaneously beginning the daunting, all-consuming, unpredictable process of getting a business off the ground.

- Despite working my ass off for six weeks, I didn't get my first pay until the end of February. Man, that was a rough time. Thank you, Bert, for making it financially possible.

- Finally, I had a semblance of a routine -- for about three weeks before hopping back on a plane to Wisconsin until April 1st.

- I've noticed that as the trips add up, every back-and-forth across the ocean gets increasingly strenuous. It takes me longer and longer -- up to a week -- to get back to normal after the return. So I'd more or less been "normal" for, again, just about three weeks before I got the Tuesday phone call that my Mom was having surgery on May 1st to remove a possibly cancerous growth. On Thursday, I was on a plane to Pittsburgh. That trip was anything but easy; but there's no way in hell I would have done anything else.

- By mid-May, I was again back to normal... for, again, about three weeks. Then was, in quick succession: Mom's visit; Paris; moving to a new place; a tsunami of work I'd never done before (including that four-hour lecture that had to be prepared from scratch); Nigel's visit; Heidi & Jens' visit --

- And suddenly it was July 10th and I was saying goodbye -- again -- to Bert to fly to Seattle.

- Seattle and Green Bay were lovely.

- I got back at the beginning of August. Three weeks later (starting to see a pattern?) we flew with Shauna and Steve to Greece for the wedding. Thank you, Shauna!

- September: sudden desert in work. I was between contracts at the Fachhochschule, and many of my BASF groups were in the middle of their yearly turnaround and had little time for our normal meetings. Uh oh... that spells trouble for the October paycheck. (See, how I get paid is, I teach for a month; at the end of that month, I add up the total lessons given to each company and send them a bill. It takes about three weeks for that bill to process and the money to clear my bank account. This means that, essentially, any work I do in September, I see payment for on October 21st. That's why January and February were so financially difficult, too -- I can work for seven weeks before seeing a cent in return!) Much of September was spent eating rice and preparing for my Mom's arrival in Germany. There were offices to call, customs to clear, rooms to arrange, cat food to buy...

- Until Mom finally arrived on October 3rd! That first weekend we spent ransoming the cat from the customs office and settling Mom into our guest room. (Hooray for the new apartment! We'd had little chance to settle into it ourselves -- we still had boxes as our decorating theme -- but it was functional)

- The next weekend, Berti turned 30. It was fun, but required a bit of planning... I arranged a Friday-to-Saturday trip and then his mom's surprise visit from Saturday to Sunday night.

- Two weekends later, we had the Big Birthday Bash in Bad Duerkheim. I surprised Bert by having all his friends -- including those from out of town, for whom accommodations and reservations had to be made -- meet us there. About 25 people were wrangled through a "hike" through the area and then to dinner at the Riesenfass. To tell the truth, it was fun, but since all of it had been planned and arranged and organized by yours truly, being responsible for 25 people doesn't quite let you sit back and relax... at least the birthday boy got nice and plastered and almost got us kicked out of the restaurant!

- Meanwhile, there's been a lot to do in getting Mom set up to live and work in Germany. She needs an apartment; health insurance; a visa; a train pass; to get registered in Mannheim (Germans do that -- you "register" your residence in every town where you have an address); an application for school; a van to pick up the boxes shipped to Frankfurt... and most of this is stuff that needs to be done during the weekday, when offices like this are open.

- Which has been no easy task, because did I mention that since October work got CRAZY?? My eight BASF courses started up again in full and I've completely taken over the Master's class at the FH. It should be 3 hours every Monday morning, but since I'll be gone (again) for most of December, we have to catch up a bit by meeting for a few Fridays, too. Oh, and just before Halloween I ran a week-long seminar (4 hours a day) on teambuilding. That was no small task.

- So October and the beginning of November were more or less full sprint on top of that barrel. I was really looking forward to my birthday, on November 10th. It was a Monday, and I made a point to take that day off so that Bert & I could have a three-day weekend and maybe get away for once. Maybe actually (gasp!) see each other, and -- don't say this too loud, the gods will hear! -- relax.

- Hahahahaha! A good one! Yeah, because on November 7th, I got some kind of stomach bug that kept me couch-bound for three days. Including my birthday. Nice and ironic, since I'd been saying just prior to this that I could use a weekend of doing nothing. But I didn't mean on my birthday! Those gods have a sense of humor.

I tried to be a grownup about it. Worse things happen. Bert heroically changed our plans last minute and cleaned up the house so some friends could come by; and I didn't want to show too much disappointment for fear of making him think he'd failed in some way. But, well, to be honest... it was mightily depressing.

I don't usually make much of an event out of my birthday. I like to have a party, but I'll usually go to work/school on my bday and it's not a big deal. But this year was different. This year, Bert and I were going to get away. And what's more... this year, it was going to be my day. I have to admit that I've spent much of this year feeling quite responsible for those around me. The travel, the work, the obligations were all part of taking care of my students, my friends, my family, and my boyfriend... and while of course I do it gladly, I was really looking forward to one special day that was supposed to be mine. A day when no one needed anything from me. When I could get out of Ludwigshafen and wander through the autumn woods and finish with a wine tasting and a cozy room at a Ferienwohnung somewhere with my boyfriend, who I've sort of been missing these last 11 months (!).

Instead, I spent the day not feeling bad enough to lie in bed but not recovered enough to leave the house, while Bert frantically cleaned up the apartment around me and set out some snacks for potential last-minute visitors. Then he and Mom and I sat around the kitchen table and hung out. Nadja came by after work, which was sweet of her. She had a glass of wine, and then she went home. A couple hours later, Mirjam & Benjamin came by and brought me flowers, and that was nice. Then we went to bed.

The next day, I felt well enough to start the week's work.

Sigh.

I should mention that lots of people called to wish me a happy birthday, which was really sweet. It's always touching to realize how many people like you enough to remember you on your birthday. But, well, the whole problem was that the day itself didn't feel special at all -- it could have been any other weekend day, except that I gave up about 200 Euros to take the day off from work (!); which made all the nice phone calls almost a bit painful, especially since many were calling to say, "So I hear you're sick!" I guess it would have been different if I hadn't been so looking forward to it.

But that's water under the bridge, I guess. Two days later, on Wednesday, we tore out our old kitchen and installed the one Bert's parents gave us, because, oh hey, did I mention they've separated? Apparently our lives haven't been eventful enough this year, and so at 30, Bert gets to watch his parents silently move into apartments 300 kilometers apart.

I repeat, though, that not all of this year has necessarily been bad. A lot of it was wonderful -- Greece, for example; Obama's victory, for another! -- but high or low, humans can only take so much eventfulness before you start becoming incapable of dealing with anything at all. God, how do you folks with children do it? I can hardly run my own life!

In the next three weeks, the intensity will, alas, only increase. Every hour is completely packed through December 5th. However! On December 7th, Bert and I make our escape! We're fleeing to Tucson for a week of just us. We got a steal on a fancy resort-style hotel. We'll sleep in; we'll hike Sabino Canyon; we'll eat Mexican food. He'll see the U of A and meet some of my friends. Then we'll rent a car and explore Northern Arizona before heading over to my Gramma in Colorado for a snowy Rocky Mountain Christmas. Skiing, family, and Gluehwein... then we fly to Green Bay for New Year's with Dad and Sarah and the girls.

I cannot wait. What a perfect way to ring out 2008!