Misadventures in soup

Ah, the first day back at school is a rainy one! The trees are bronze-colored and dripping brightly; a soft breeze stirs the autumn paradise and puts an assistant teacher in the mood to make some of that organic pumpkin soup that Shauna so kindly stocked in her cupboard.

Step One: Find the soup. It's in a little packet somewhere... under these half-finished bags of pasta? Maybe it's behind this empty Weetabix box. (What's that doing still in the cupboard?) Dang these German soups in their little packets. Maybe it slid between these bags of oatmeal...

Step Two: Add water. Easy! Pour a carefully-measured amount into pot and set on stove to heat. This is taking a while... lemme turn the heat up... think I'll check email while I wait.

Step Three: Suddenly remember boiling water, which is now merrily humidifying an apartment that already tends toward the damp. Much of it has boiled away; add more to make up for it.

Step Four: Dump in contents of packet. The second ingredient being dried milk, said contents quickly congeal. Look at directions again. Ohhh, is that how you say "lukewarm" in German?

Step Five: Industriously mash congealed orange lumps with fork. They don't dissolve; but they do become smaller and more numerous. If it's going to be lumpy, might as well add some vegetables.

Step Six: Scrape out random veggies from fridge drawer, hack up, plop in soup. Soup retaliates by backsplashing hotly.

Step Seven: Stick splashed fingers into mouth. Pick up glass cutting board by handle so as to rinse in sink. Handle promptly falls off. Glass cutting board barely avoids hitting tiled floor by hitting knees and shins instead. Feebly replace lid on pot so that carrots may cook.

Step Eight: Soup boils over. Orange encrustment of stovetop quickly ensues. Curse roundly.

Step Nine: Carrots are done! Ladle steaming pumpkiny goodness into bowl. Pick up bowl, which sloshes over to administer boiling liquid to previously-splashed hand. Teach Hamann family new American curse words through their floorboards.

Step Ten: Eat vengefully. Mm mm, nothing like that autumn magic!